


The Magic of Science

by Nejinee



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Female Bucky Barnes, Fluff, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending, Humor, M/M, Rule 63, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Team as Family, temporary female bucky barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:26:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8813233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nejinee/pseuds/Nejinee
Summary: After a Hydra mishap, Bucky Barnes is now female. While they wait for the antidote, Steve has to deal with his very amorous, very difficult boyfriend who really isn't that different, even if he is female.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First off, Bucky will be referred to as 'he' throughout this story. Sorry if it gets confusing. :\
> 
> Picking ratings for this was hella interesting. The M/M rating is because there are references to Bucky and Steve's relationship as men. Ya. The F/M is self-explanatory, i guess?

Tony was still ranting.

“Do you think he’ll stop sometime tonight?” Clint said, tossing a beer at Bucky, who caught it deftly.

Bucky shrugged and took a swig.

Steve was barely aware of Tony. No, he was still kind of getting used to _this_.

He was slouched in the communal living room’s sofa, Bucky perched on the arm of the seat beside him, like he always was.

Except this time, Bucky was only two-hundred pounds and swimming in a t-shirt and sweats that used to fit him squarely. Sure, two-hundred sounded like a lot, but because Steve knew the recalibrated arm weighed thirty, and Bucky was normally a hulking mass of two-sixty, it was definitely different.

And Tony was _still_ ranting on and on about the mishap. Clanging from the kitchen signalled the entry of the blender he used to make horrifying smoothies after missions. The colour of the smoothie indicated his mental capacity for acting like a compliant contributing member of society. The darker, greener the drink, the more Tony hated them all.

“It was just a powdery, goofy, glittery explosion,” Clint said, sliding into the nearest armchair, left leg draped over the arm, because he was incapable of sitting like a normal human. The grating sound of the blender went off in the background. If there was one appliance this century had wrought that Steve hated more than any other, it was the goddamn blender.

“Yeah,” Bucky huffed. “It’s not like the Doc won’t figure it out by morning.”

“Uh,” Steve butted in, looking up at Bucky. “She, uh, said it may not be twenty-four hours, Buck.”

Bucky looked down at him and frowned. “You gotta have more faith, Rogers,” he said, his voice gruff, but softer than it used to be.

Steve swallowed, his eyes still taking Bucky in.

He wasn’t going to be able to understand how this happened, or why, but his brain still tried in vain to catalogue the differences.

Hydra were bastards.

Whatever they’d been building had at least been destroyed when Bucky stormed into their waterfall cave (freakin’ dramatic, diva bastards) and torn out pipes and tubing and wires that hooked their monster contraption up to their ancient generator.

That had also triggered the eruption of whatever was running through those tubes, a dull, shimmery powder that was clearly being dampened by the wet waterfall environment. Maybe it was meant to stay dry? Maybe they were going to drop it into the water supply? Who knows? Bucky got coated in the stuff, but it hadn’t seemed _so_ bad.

At least, not until he’d almost collapsed under the awkward, painful weight of his oversized arm.

That was the starting point. From that moment, Bucky had begun to morph. He still maintained that it hadn’t hurt, that his insides being rearranged and his body melting into something new _wasn’t painful goddamnit_ , but Steve knew better.

Bucky was showered now, all cleaned up and fresh but the sweaty, dirty, grumpy mess from before was still alive in Steve’s memory.

The doc had also drawn his blood, had sampled what she could of the messy powder stuff and promised answers soon. Well, soon- _ish_.

“It’s bullshit, is what it is,” Tony barked, entering the living room like the blazing storm he always wanted to be.

His drink was almost black. _Damnit._

“Would you please stop yelling?” Natasha murmured, following Tony into the room. She looked tired. They all looked tired.

“No, _no_ ,” Tony waved his hands, smoothie snug between an index, thumb and middle finger. Steve eyed the pale cream, plush carpets. Tony stopped, turned and pointed at Bucky. Bucky who was innocent, exhausted and didn’t need this crap.

“This–” Tony waved a finger up and down, “is unfair.” He turned, brows high, eyeing Steve. “Your _boyfriend_ over here? This guy? Girl? I dunno–“ he turned back to Bucky and frowned. “What you want to be? Do you care? Is this too soon to have this discussion? I can call my therapist, I think she’s back from her personal leave–”

“Guy,” Bucky answered gruffly.

Tony slurped some more, swallowed and said, “ Got it.” He spun back to Steve. “This _guy_ of yours. Your boo? How is it he makes it out looking like _that_ and the rest of us don’t comment on it?”

“So he’s a chick?” Clint said, “Pretty sure we commented on it?” He was a tad confused. It had been the _only_ thing they’d talked about on the quinjet.

“Not the weirdest shit we’ve seen, Stark,” Natasha murmured, sliding deeper into her seat. “Remember the flying whaliens?” She looked beyond done with this already.

Clint nodded, swigging at his beer, “Yeah. Also, _also_ : Thor has a hammer that helps him fly. Not wings, not a chariot of flaming glory. _A hammer_. Maybe there’s a matching set of nails out there somewhere. But this?” He jerked a thumb at Bucky. “Dude as a girl? That’s just _interesting_. Take a walk down Broadway and tell me he ain’t a dime a dozen.”

Steve wanted to kiss Clint. Or give him a firm handshake. He settled for just thinking his appreciation loudly.

“I’m not–“ Tony harped on, then took a long slurp of his black-as-sin smoothie. “I’m not talking about the magic of fucking science, Barton! I’m talking about how unfair it is that Murderbot-5000 gets to be a super-soldier supermodel hotshot then _also_ somehow gets Hydra-blasted, _survives_ , and comes out looking like one of the most attractive, dare I say it, hot-as- _balls_ iest, women I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet.”

Steve caught Tony’s eyes looking Bucky over, and he tried to not grind his teeth together. Usually, Tony kept his gaze eye-level, especially with Bucky. Probably because there was no love lost between the two men, but also mostly because Tony feared for his life and Bucky’s metal arm was enough of a deterrent.

“You’re bordering on creepy,” Natasha warned.

“ _Borderline_ ,” Tony pointed to himself. “Attention-seeking genius playboy at your service.”

“Tony,” Steve said sharply. “Watch your mouth.”

“No, listen to me,” Tony huffed. “It’s not _fair!”_

“I’m _right_ here,” Bucky said tonelessly. “And I can still throw you through that window without moving from this seat.”

He wasn’t lying. The doc had strength-tested Bucky to be sure.

“Are you saying you wish you’d been blasted instead?” Clint asked, a slight smirk quivering on his lips.

“Admit it, I’d make a hot lady-friend,” Tony said. Everyone just groaned. “But what I’m saying isn’t that. I kinda like having a dick, right Barnes?”

“Tony!” Steve barked, trying to not let that comment bother him as much as it did.

“Thing is, you see,” Tony said, strolling closer to Bucky, who just blinked slowly. “As beautiful as you look, as–“ he sighed, eyes roaming all over Bucky, “ _fucking stunning_ as you appear, I still would not, cannot, shall not ever have a chance. Not with the wrath of God bearing down on me would I ever touch that.”

“Oh for the love–“ Natasha groaned. “Tony are you talking about your own dick again?”

“Man,” Clint shook his head, “You have _got_ to stop equating women with the quality of sex you think you may or may not have with them. Messed up, guy.”

“It really is,” Steve said, brows deeply furrowed. His hands were fists on his thighs. He had a lot more choice words, but tonight was not the night to start shit with Tony, no matter how annoying Howard’s son could be.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow he could break every bone in his body, but not tonight.

“No, hold on,” Tony said, hands up, smoothie half gone. “I’m just saying that the level of attractiveness,” here he wiggled an index finger between Steve and Bucky, “in this duo? Is unlawful. You should be ashamed of yourselves. National icons are supposed to be crusty and faded and green from the oxidization process.”

Steve really wanted to punch Tony.

“So what you’re saying, in your roundabout way,” Bucky said, all calm. “Is that you think Steve’s hot? You know, you could just tell him instead of deflecting onto me.”

The room was awkwardly silent all at once.

Natasha was trying to hold back a smirk. Clint just sucked on his beer bottle.

“No,” Tony said darkly. His eyes fluttered between the two super soldiers. “No. That is- _how dare_ you? You kiss your boyfriend with that mouth?”

“That’s interesting, Stark,” Bucky said, standing, his beer forgotten on the side table. Sure he’d lost fifty-odd pounds, but Tony still took a step back.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Stop baiting him,” he sighed.

Bucky turned, a smile on his (her?) lips.

“You _are_ pretty hot, Rogers. Even Stark’s all in knots about it,” Bucky said.

Steve tried in vain to not blush. “Stop it, both of you.” He got to his feet. “You’re not as funny as you think.”

“I’m hilarious,” Tony murmured under his breath.

Bucky was still smirking.

“I think we’ve done enough sniping to last me a lifetime,” Steve sighed.

Bucky snorted. “Bedtime?” he said, clearly catching on to how desperately Steve wanted to flee this operatic disaster.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Steve wiped a hand over the back of his neck. “I gotta get out of this getup.”

“Stark thinks it makes your ass look good,” Bucky said, following Steve out. “Catch him staring all the time.” Steve waved half-heartedly. It was just too late for niceties.

“I do not!” Tony barked. “Go to hell, Barnes!”

“Stop yelling,” Natasha said before Steve and Bucky finally made it to the tower elevator.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The doc had gone over this with both of them. Bucky was male, regardless of what he looked like. Bucky said he was a _he_. He identified as male. Okay. Steve understood. But his eyes were drowning here.

Buck was still the same height as before. Almost eye-to-eye with Steve. And he, well, he looked like a Barnes, that was for sure. Remnants of memories of Bucky’s ma and sisters floated into Steve’s mind. The Barneses with their cornflower eyes, tan skin, dark hair and attitudes a mile wide.

His hair was exactly the same. As it would be. Hair had nothing to do with gender, right? Same cut, same wavy tendrils, same hair tucked behind his ear. His jaw was different, though. Softer, rounder and there wasn’t any stubble, which was _so_ weird.

Steve wanted to test, wanted to touch, but he dared not.

Bucky’s lips were the same, still that soft, plush pink, ever so slightly dry. His nose was basically the same, the furrow between his brows ever-present.

When Bucky had stumbled out after the Hydra mess, Steve knew this was _his_ Barnes, with those eyes. The bright steel-blue, so different to Steve’s darker hue, were the exact same. If anything, those inky lashes suited them even more than before. Bucky had always had such intense eyes, such a strong gaze, that no one else’s could ever come close to in their veracity. No one knew them better than Steve.

Now, Bucky was definitely female, or wore the body of a female.

His neck and shoulders were slimmer, his muscles still thick and firm, but nothing like before. The recalibrated arm was slimmer, lighter now, once Tony had twiddled with it a fair bit. It was no longer causing Bucky to lean left, a burden against his much smaller core muscles and bones. The scarring remained, though.

So Bucky was changed, somehow. The doc was so happy to be able to investigate this, heaven only knew why, but Bucky was happy to comply.

First, though, they had to figure out how to live together. How to last the little while it would take for the doc to find an antidote, or cure or whatever.

 

* * *

 

 

“Pardon, sirs,” came Friday’s accented voice through the airwaves. “Agent Romanov has arrived for Sergeant Barnes. She is in the second-level garage.”

Steve blinked. They weren’t slated to see anyone.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked, as Bucky walked out the kitchen. The jeans on his waist were slipping low and Bucky had the same thought Steve did: he rifled through the laundry pile waiting near the kitchen, digging up Steve’s last-worn pair of jeans. Bucky yanked the belt free, wrapping it around his own hips and through the belt loops of his pants.

“Romanov’s taking me shopping, or some shit,” Bucky grumbled, slipping into his sneakers. They were never going to stay on.

“You’re going … out?” Steve’s brows were almost in his hair. Bucky stood up and glared at him.

“Yes, Steve. Out.”

“B-but–“ Steve blustered, “What if–“

“What? What if someone attacks us? Come on, Rogers,” Bucky sighed, yanking his favourite grey baseball cap over his hair. Steve’s heart swelled a little, because gosh darnit, Bucky was adorable. Bucky stepped up to Steve and almost made the blonde squeal when he slid both hands under Steve’s armpits. With very little effort, Bucky hoisted Steve, all two-fifty pounds, up a few inches and just held him there, feet dangling, like he weighed nothing.

Steve would be lying if he said his heart rate didn’t spike and his imagination didn’t run a little wild.

Bucky stared up at him from under his cap. “I’m not a delicate flower, Rogers. I’m a world-renowned assassin, going to the mall with Russia’s Black Widow. I’ll be fine.”

Uh, okay,” Steve squeaked, as Bucky lowered him back to the ground.

“Atta boy,” Bucky said and slapped Steve’s ass as he pushed past, fully intent on heading out into the world without Steve.

 

 

* * *

 

 

At the last Avengers meeting everyone had made it _very clear_ to Bucky that he had to start wearing those bras Nat had helped him buy. And he couldn’t _work_ in some of the shit he’d been knocking about in. It was making Clint stare and giving Tony more excuses to be disgustingly forward and leery. Though Nat kind of had a point about how different Tony was around Bucky, like it was hurting his brain while it confused his body. Steve found it very amusing.

And Bucky was still not getting it.

Sure, he was insanely happy with the new clothing he had. It fit better, and it was still casual and comfy, but because he was curvy now, and slender, it was a whole other ballgame.

Getting to know his female body was clearly becoming more of an intrepid adventure for Bucky than a science experiment.

Like one time, Bucky had waltzed right into the kitchen, straight from the shower saying, “Hey, Stevie, check it out. My legs are so smooth. I tried shaving ‘em, like girls these days.” Because Bucky was used to walking about their apartment naked and just because he was female didn’t mean he _wasn’t_ going to keep doing that. "Shaved other parts too. What you think?"

Steve had all but leapt out the window at the sight of a very naked female Bucky Barnes in his kitchen.

“Buck, you can shave even if you were male, you know?”

A few days later it was, “Ugh, why _do_ women shave? Such a fucking dumb idea.”

 

* * *

 

Steve accompanied Bucky to his doctor appointments. It was super exciting for the doc to be writing down all the changes and differences Bucky was experiencing. Steve figured she’d get a great medical journal entry, if not a sweet biography out of this whole thing.

So Steve had to listen to Bucky explain how different it felt. How his centre of gravity had changed, affecting his fighting. How people treated him differently, depending on the person. Clint, for example, saw no difference and treated Bucky the same, always. But the random male techs Bucky had to deal with when working, they were so weird around him, whether they recognized him or not. If the metal arm was visible, the techs got all jittery and uncomfortable, knowing he/she was James Buchanan Barnes. If the arm was gone, Bucky had to contend with some of the worst come-ons ever. He also had to deal with bizarre, patronizing commentary that purposely excluded him or made him sound stupid.

“It’s like dudes are just not okay with someone who looks like me talking smart and kicking their asses,” Bucky had said once and the doctor in all her wisdom, had nodded.

 

* * *

 

“Come on, Stevie,” Bucky whined, kissing and pushing at Steve. They were in the kitchen, Steve attempting to cook dinner with a touchy-feely Barnes wedged between himself and the stove.

“You’re gonna get burnt,” Steve gasped as Bucky nipped at his lip.

“I’m gonna lose my mind, here,” Bucky groaned before pushing out and away from the stove.

“Bucky, we can’t, it might not be safe,” Steve said desperately. They’d talked about this.

Steve didn’t want to hurt Bucky. Bucky didn’t see how that was possible. Steve insisted. So Bucky suggested fingers, tongues, anything. Steve just flushed red and whimpered whenever Bucky tried to feel him up. “I’m serious, Buck. The doc says it won’t be the same.”

“It might be better!” Bucky cried out waspishly. “Stevie, come on. I’m horny as all hell, over here.”

The food started to smoke and Steve had to push Bucky away.

But Bucky Barnes was a determined asshole and was put on this earth expressly to drive Steve Rogers nuts.

 

* * *

 

He was playing unfair, walking around dressed like that.

“Bucky, hey, come on, now,” Steve sighed, when Bucky had appeared in the living room one morning.

“What?” Bucky said, bending to put his coffee on the table. Steve stoically kept his eyes averted.

Steve just waved his fingers vaguely in Bucky’s direction. “You said you were gonna wear, the stuff, that Nat got you.”

Bucky stood, hip jutting out, arms folded. “Listen here, jerk, that shit’s uncomfortable.”

“It’s just a bra, though,” Steve whispered, voice kind of lost, because Bucky’s arms were pushing his breasts together under that thin, flimsy grey tank top. His shorts were so short. Why were there holes in such already tiny shorts? Did he  _pay_ for them to look like that? God, Buckys had great legs.

“I said I’d wear that shit outside. Not in my own home. So you can fuck right off.”

And so it went.

 

* * *

 

“Why is this happening?” Clint murmured.

“Because you touch yourself at night,” Natasha murmured back with a smile.

“Oh, yeah, that,” Clint nodded amiably.

Both of them were making fun of what was going down.

Steve was trying his damnedest to be grown-up about this, but Bucky always made it difficult when Parker was in the mix.

“Why is he even here?” Steve hissed to Tony, waving a hand blindly at Peter, dangling like an oversized jellyfish from the ceiling.

“Hey, he’s basically and Avenger,” Tony hissed back. “Also, I promised I’d help him with his internships. Kid’s got a big science brain somewhere inside that teeming mess of hormones and awkwardness."

Bucky was tormenting Peter, as always.

And Parker? Well, he was acting like an idiot, as always.

“It’s so cool!” he was saying, now walking around Bucky, but on the ceiling. “The kind of genetic mutation going on here? So awesome!”

“Get down,” Bucky snapped, arms folded. “And what the hell do you want, kid?”

Parker dropped to the floor like he’d been swatted. “Uh! Nothing. I’m just, um, you know. Wow!”

“You know, people tell me you’re a smart kid, but I fail to see it,” Bucky snarked.

Peter’s eyes were bugging out of his head. “You’re a really pretty lady, Sergeant Barnes.”

Oh _God._ Steve saw Bucky’s cheek twitch. Parker was so sweet, so genuine. But Bucky wasn’t in the mood.

“I-I mean,” Parker blathered on blindly. “You’re a handsome man too. Very handsome. _So handsome._ Uh, Captain Rogers is a lucky man, right? Uh. To be with you? 'Cos you're smart. And talented. Because you’re not _just_ beautiful like a desert flower?”

“A _what_?” There was absolutely no loss to Bucky’s terrifying effect on Parker, even as a smaller female.

“I just– _wait_ , no. I didn’t say that. I, well, I _did_ , but it’s um, I’m not good with girls.” Parker was crashing and burning so fast, it was like fireworks going off. “Pretty girls make me nervous.”

“You deserve this,” Tony patted Parker’s shoulder as he passed by.

Steve just pressed his fingers into his own eyes, hoping it would be over soon.

 

* * *

 

Bucky was wearing one of those stupid little tops. Steve was certain he’d never, ever seen Natasha in one like that, so only hell knows where Bucky got them, because he had a few of them now.

The straps were so thin, much thinner than a normal tank top. And the fabric was soft, clinging, barely legal. It wasn’t even a full-length shirt, stopping above Bucky’s bellybutton, baring more midriff than was absolutely necessary. Bucky was torturing Steve, this is what was happening. This was punishment for last night when Steve had woken to the sound of Bucky humming, Steve’s great big hand on his ass, pulling Bucky closer to his sleep-dream erection. Steve had panicked, surprised, and had inadvertently kicked Bucky right off the bed and onto the floor with a yelp.

This was his punishment.

Bucky moved towards Steve, mission clear. There was no way Steve could back out of this, not with the way Bucky was looking at him.

In one swift, smooth move, Bucky was standing in front of Steve, then leaning in, pushing Steve back against the leather seat. Bucky’s right knee settled beside Steve’s thigh, followed by the other on the other side. Bucky straddled Steve, up close and personal.

“Hi there,” Bucky said, wicked smile creeping across his deceptively feminine lips. His hands wound around Steve’s neck.

“Hi,” Steve breathed, eyes wide.

Bucky looked down at him, hair falling forward, as sexy now as he’d ever been. Goddamnit, Bucky Barnes was a _demon_.

“Steve…” Bucky hummed. “Steeeeve…”

“Bucky, I swear to hell.”

“C’mon, Steve,” Bucky all but purred, his pink, plush lips close. “Just touch me. Just once. Just a little.”

“God,” Steve whispered, hands sliding up those muscled, thick thighs. He trailed his fingers over those yoga pantsed hips, pants that Bucky laughed at on the regular, but obviously found to be the most flattering of all.

Bucky’s hips shifted and pressed into Steve, right when Steve’s dick was starting to pay attention.

“It’s real nice, you know,” Bucky whispered, lips ghosting over Steve’s cheek.

“What is?” Steve gulped, fingers flexing, grabbing at Bucky’s ass. God, he missed his ass.

He could feel Bucky’s grin against his skin. “My pussy,” he murmured softly. “I’ve gotten to know it real well. Bath time is great these days.”

Steve groaned, hands pulling Bucky closer, trailing up his back. God, Bucky was so tiny now. As muscled and strong as female Bucky was, this body would never compare to the sheer bulk of male Bucky. Steve could wrap his arms around this Bucky and just pull him in close, those gently shifting hips nice and close.

“Barnes, you’re killing me,” he huffed.

Bucky leaned down, kissing Steve gently. “The bath is running right now,” he hummed. “Want to join me?”

Steve whimpered, a weak, weak man. “Yes, oh please, yes.”

Bucky smirked and pulled back. He stood up and tugged at Steve’s hand. “Come on, you idiot. I ain’t waiting anymore.”

Steve stumbled after him, stuttering on a response.

They entered the steamed-up bathroom and Steve resigned himself to the inevitable.

Bucky leaned over the tub and tapped the off switch. It was a massive bath, one that the two soldiers had shared more than a few times.

Bucky turned.

“Strip,” he ordered.

Steve knew better than to argue. He just yanked his t-shirt up and over his head and undid his jeans, yanking his underwear down with the denim.

“Oh, Baby,” Bucky breathed, eyes roaming, like always. "Look at you. Perfect."

“We gotta be careful,” Steve tried.

“Shut up,” Bucky groused. “Watch.” And just like that, Bucky was shirtless, flimsy little top thrown across the room. Steve gulped, watching Bucky bend over and pull those yoga pants down and away. He wasn’t wearing underwear. Bucky had become quite fond of panties, saying they felt almost invisible, soft against his hips and ass. Another tactic of his to get Steve all wound up.

Steve couldn’t have agreed more.

So Bucky was naked and Steve’s dick was at attention and it all felt a little surreal.

“Get in the tub,” Bucky ordered. Steve did as he was told, stepping into the warm, bubbly water. He hadn’t had a bath in forever, come to think of it. Sitting down was so comfy in the water. He blinked. _Oh, there was their extra tube of lube_ , left here last time Bucky had fucked him up against the tiles. _Huh._

Steve was distracted then when Bucky stepped into the tub. His eyes were wide, watching those long, muscular legs, and those rounded, beautiful hips. Bucky’s newly-grown pubic hair covered up what was between his legs. He'd been female long enough for that to happen. Christ. His waist was small, but his stomach was firm, strong, muscles flexing just beneath his skin.

Water sloshed when Bucky sat, straddling Steve again.

His breasts, those beautiful, small handfuls, were right there, not to be missed.

“Jesus,” Steve breathed out in a rush.

Bucky grabbed Steve’s big, clumsy hands and pressed them to his breasts. “Come on, Baby, before they’re gone.”

“What?” Steve huffed out, eyes fixated on his hands as they squeezed gently. His thumbs rubbed over nipples, similar, yet different to Bucky’s original pair.

“I mean,” Bucky said, settling onto Steve’s legs. “They’ll be gone, all of this will be gone soon. Might as well make the best of it.”

“You’re going to kill me,” Steve gasped, voice high. He could feel Bucky pressing against his cock.

Bucky smiled, thrusting slowly. “Naw, buddy. I’m just gonna ride your dick all night until the sun rises.”

 

* * *

 

“What?!” Tony almost shrieked, hands in his hair.

Steve blushed, hands crossed in front of him, like a naughty schoolboy.

Nat and Clint were both speechless.

In the late morning light, contrarily, Bucky beamed, happy as hell.

Tony pointed at Steve, then back at Bucky.

“It’s contagious!?” he barked. “What the hell did the doc tell you? Be careful! What the fuck happened?”

Steve didn’t miss how Tony’s eyes were having difficulty leaving him, casting looks over his body, his chest, his face.

“Whoa,” Parker just exhaled, eyes wide as saucers, from his spot behind Tony. “Captain _Rogers_ ,” he squeaked breathily, then cleared his throat. His face was all pink and it made Steve want to _die_.

“Tony, calm down,” Steve said, but his voice was light this time.

“No, no, _you_ take this, this _sorcery_ , and you get out,” Tony hissed. But even Steve could read between the lines. Tony was mildly unnerved, and probably excruciatingly attracted to Steve. Because Steve had a slimmer face, and round hips and thick, muscular legs under a borrowed pair of Bucky's jeans. And, well, a lot more curves than before. His fluffy, short blonde hair was kinda cute on him now.

“Stark’s getting hot and bothered, Rogers,” Bucky snorted, folding his arms. His strong, beautifully slender arms that had pinned Steve to the bed late last night while he’d all but ruined Steve for any woman ever.

“You!” Tony pointed a finger angrily at Bucky. “What did you do?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and was about to explain, probably in explicit unnecessary detail, except Steve cut him off.

“It doesn’t matter,” Steve said sharply. He eyed Bucky in warning. “We, uh, woke up like this.”

“Ohhhh…” Nat said, eyebrows rising slowly.

“What?” Clint asked, turning to her. Nat just signed something quickly. Clint’s eyes went wide and he turned to look at the super soldiers.

“ _Really?_ Wow, guys. Wow. Bet if the doc can synthesize it, it’d be good for people.”

Bucky frowned, “Really?”

“Well, yeah!” Clint slapped his shoulder. “Lotsa folks feel like they’re not the gender they’re in, right? Maybe this is a step forward in medicine! Not all bad!”

"That's quite the STD you got there," Nat murmured with a smile. Steve flushed bright pink, which only made Bucky smile and lean into his side.

“I’m outta here before I contract a vagina, feelings or anything of that ilk,” Tony barked, spinning on his heel. “Call me. I’ll be in Cabo, assholes. It’s probably safer there.”

Steve’s face fell. This wasn’t exactly working out.

"But, well, we came over with good news, though,” Parker said awkwardly, eyes still a little too wide and round.

“Right!” Clint snapped his fingers. “Doc’s got something she’d like to try. Might be the, um, fix?”

Steve stared skyward. He wanted the earth to eat him up.

Bucky nudged him. “Sounds good.”

“Right?” Clint said with a grin.

 

* * *

 

 

Later, much later, Clint was sharing beers with Bucky.

 

“So, really,” he asked, a little bit of a slur seeping into his voice. “What’s it like?”

Bucky looked over. “What?”

“You know,” Clint wiggled his hand over his own crotch. “Doing the do, but, like, from the other side?”

Bucky sipped his beer, eyes trailing after Steve, on the other side of the room.

He turned back to Clint. “Well...“

**Author's Note:**

> It's done! Hooooraaayyyy. Thanks for reading.


End file.
